Toby’s new home November 8, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, Toby.Tags: backyard, dog house, kennel, poodle, scent, shih tzu, Toby
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No, Toby hasn’t been shafted. He still lives with us. Readers can rest easy.
I’ve been looking for a dog house for Toby to seek shelter from and more importantly, a place to rest. Previously, he had used his doggy door to enter the laundry, where it’s warm and secure. But doing that left our security door open, and we didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a new security door so it’s left unused.
I’ve read a lot on dog forums how difficult it is to persuade your four-legged friend to get into the dog house. Dogs – when left outside – don’t tend to stray too far from the entry point into the home. So with that in mind, I moved things around the backyard to accomodate his new dog house and placed it right by the back door. This way the first thing he sees when he leaves his house is the entry to his ‘other’ house.
Getting him into the house was less stress-free than I had envisioned. Many owners recall trying to bait them with food, sitting next to the dog house to arouse the dog’s curiosity or even getting into the dog house.
My problem, however was three-fold.
Movember November 1, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: 'mo, body hair, facial hair, moustache, movember, sandpit, tache
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Against Michele’s wishes I have decided to grow a ‘mo to celebrate the wonderful cause that is Movember.
I reckon I would really have to had grown my ‘mo from last November to participate; such is the sad state of my un-hairyness. Bar a few exceptions, Asians really have the short end of the hairy stick. We simply do not have facial hair.
The last time I attempted to grow a ‘mo, I went three weeks without a shave and I looked a little like an abandoned kids’ sandpit that has the odd blade of green growing.
Oh yes, you had better believe it. With such embarrassing riches, I might need a stiff drink to muster enough courage to walk out into the world. Who knows what people might think if they have to come up real close to spot facial hair, when it’s meant to be seen from a mile away!
I’ll keep a regular update on my sandpit. Perhaps I might just build a little sandcastle, hide a bone in it and gasp in fake astonishment when Toby finds it.
Toilet mannerisms October 29, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, Michele, To Start Off With.Tags: apricots, buttock, colombo, dunny, ethnicity, excrement, fart, fruit, laxative, marriage, pong, shit, spring, the holy grail, vegetable, Wedding, wedding vows
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Hello all, I hope you have been well.
I had the worst case of the runs two nights ago after consuming too many dried apricots (They’re so sweet and juicy!) during lunch. Somebody must have forgotten to tell me apricots have a laxative effect because I went through them like apricots were The Holy Grail of fruits.
Of course, not being much of a fruit person – I prefer vegetables – didn’t help as apples meant as much as an orange to me. They’re round and colourful. Ooh, can I throw it at someone?
So here I was, getting acquainted with the dunny. It was a warm Spring day so my bare buttock didn’t experience a cold jolt upon sitting on the seat.
With half a packet left; the fruit that started it all.
Armed with a laptop on my thighs and a fresh roll of toilet paper, it was all systems go.
The best invention in the world! October 27, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Baby, Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: air con, airconditioning, Baby, best invention in the world, bun in the oven, summer
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Hello, I hope you have all been well.
My airconditioning units – busy collecting road tolls from the number of times I’ve walked past them sitting pretty in their boxes – have been put out of their idle misery as they are currently being installed.
About damn time too, I might add, with the oppressive heat of summer around the corner. I don’t think Michele would like carrying around an extra 15kg around her waist in a 50 degree house.
I doubt Baby would fancy leaving the watery cave that is the womb too. Although, it does put a new spin on the term ‘bun in the oven’!
Hole in the wall - who needs a window?!!
And if you, like me, love the cool of the faux air caressing your sun-kissed skin in summer, say it along with me:
“The air con is the best invention in the world!”
‘House chores’ – cleaning and removing October 9, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: arborist, backyard, cleaning brigade, council, graffiti, house chores, illusion, space, tree, vandalism
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Hello all.
This week I’ve seen a new reason to look at house chores in a different light. After all, I didn’t move a muscle and had everything done for me. Oh how I wished that’s the case week in, week out.
Regular readers will remember how my property was vandalized and when my house was almost crushed by a giant tree. All that within the space of a week. And they say married life isn’t interesting!
Bye bye tree...
If only the world works with such well-drilled precision and timing. A day after I lodged the graffiti report, the local council responded immediately to my pleas for help, sending the Cleaning Brigade to wash the graffiti off my fencing.
I’ve always wondered why annual council fees are so steep. After all, all they did was clear my rubbish weekly and my recycled every other. I simply could not justify paying them. However, after making short work of the graffiti in err, short time, I will never complain paying those fees again. Good work, council!
Toby goes mobile! October 8, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, Toby.Tags: canine cough, cute, dog grooming, dog washing, local papers, mobile dog grooming, poodle, room service, shih tzu, Toby, vet fees
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Hello all. The weather has been brilliant today so I’m sure you’ve been well.
After three years of dropping Toby off at local groomers, we decided to give mobile dog grooming and washing a try. We’ve had varying levels of satisfaction with the groomers we’ve been to. Mostly, they do a good job. However, the last two times Toby returned with canine cough (first time) and a bit of the flu (second time).
I would like to give the groomers the benefit of the doubt but I’m not willing to put up with a sick Toby again. Perhaps he contracted it elsewhere, but we thought it wasn’t worth the worry and hassle and decided to look elsewhere. We’ve copped a bit of vet fees with Toby’s history of ill health, so it was paramount we kept him healthy.
With winter now gone, Toby’s thick coat of hair has begun to mat, so a complete shave was necessary. We’ve always wanted to give mobile dog groomers a try but were put off by the prohibitive prices. After all, they come to your house ala room service. A basic cut and wash sets us back $50, but mobile groomers charge around $80. That’s steep if your dog gets groomed every two to three months.
We found our local mobile groomer to be a very lovely lady, was punctual and really professional. Toby was well taken care of and for awhile, it felt strange having lunch at home knowing your dog’s in the driveway getting a haircut. Ha.
And the price? Exactly the same as sending Toby to the old groomer. Savings on travelling expenses and more importantly time.
Thank you Tracy, you have our business in future.
Timberrrrrrrr! September 30, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With, Toby.Tags: arborist, backyard, collapsed, deck of cards, felling, poodle, shih tzu, Toby, tree, weather
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Even Toby didn't know what to make of it.
Our house is falling apart, literally.
Over the weekend the big old tree in my backyard decided to do a split after watching one too many gymnasts on the telly. I was in my room when I heard a rip-roaring sound that went like “rrrrrrrkkkkkk-kkkkkcccccchhhhhh-rkkkkhhhhh” which was accompanied by the shaking of the ground. For a moment I thought the house was falling like a deck of cards.
I have attributed this unwanted disaster to the wild weather. High winds and wild rain – you could interchange both adjectives and the meaning would still be the same – must have become too much for the tree.
I’ve always wanted to remove the tree as it posed as a safety hazard but put it off due to the tightening of the purses. I guess there’s no way to put it off now!
Toby couldn’t be more pleased when I have the tree (and spare parts) removed. He hasn’t been able to do his usual laps around the yard and has too much energy at the end of the day. Which means more throwing of toys or balls for him to fetch. And Michele and I hate that.
Wonder how much arborists charge to remove a tree. We could do without more expenses.
Oh well, life goes on.
Unwelcomed art September 28, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, Observations.Tags: government, children, family, fence, community, graffiti, defile, deface, ethnic, minority, success, grandchildren, neighbour, Centrelink, dole bludge, juvenile delinquents, dickheads
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Hello. I hope you are all well.
I got home today from work to find some unsavoury pieces of art on our fence. Some juvenile delinquents have sprayed random stuff on on it, defacing it in the process.
It’s not what the graffiti symbolized or represented – they don’t mean anything to me, but probably do to those in the graffiti or uneducated community – but for me it’s a slight on my lovely home and this beautiful family I’ve tried so hard to establish from scratch.
It wasn’t just our home that had our property defiled. Our neighbour’s home across the street copped it as well. They didn’t have some very explicit words on it though.
Back in May I talked about maintaining the security and upholding the harmony of your family and loved ones with necessary protection after a pretty scary incident with a would-be robber. Since then we have had security doors, grilles and roller shutters installed at our home. It set us back many thousands of dollars, but at least we feel better knowing our home is well looked after.
Working from home September 26, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: $64000 question, blog, I.T, kiddo, obstetrician, parenting, pregnant, search engine optimization, seo, the asian parent, the marching jester, theAsianParent, trimester, ultrasound, website, working from home
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Hello all. I hope you have been well.
Has Life has been kind to you? It certainly has for me, at least in the last week or so.
Last week I was approached by the Editor of South East Asia’s largest parenting website, TheAsianParent to contribute story ideas and more importantly, articles. I was previously on the editorial team for the Singapore edition of TheAsianParent in 2008, but the recession took its toll on our team and I was kindly asked to stop writing temporarily until things picked up.
Of course, here’s the $64,000 question. What on earth do I know about being a parent in 2008?! As it is now, Michele’s only 14 weeks pregnant!
I had asked the Editor the same question as well, and I was quickly shepherded into a corner and told to write about amusing observations on parenting instead. I remember thinking:
“How queer. Parenting, non-parenting style.”
Eat, sleep, drink, vomit, crack it. Rinse and repeat. September 21, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Baby, Life At Home, Michele, Pregnancy.Tags: Baby, bubba, folic acid, food cravings, kiddo, kitchen raids, lifestyle, mood swings, morning sickess, parenthood, preggers, pregnant, snacks, trimester, ultrasound, vomit, wife
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Hello everybody. I hope you are all well.
Michele is well and truly into her second trimester this month. 14 weeks and one day, to be precise.
This morning, she roused me from my wonderful sleep at 6AM with her Nokia alarm and said to me:
“Babe, could you iron my uniform for me?”
Silence.
Now when a man doesn’t answer his wife’s demands, it either means No, No or No. It’s just a man’s way of saying ‘No’. ‘No’, I don’t want to do it. ‘No’, it’s annoying when you ask me at odd times of the day and ‘No’ I won’t take the rubbish out either.
Rice crackers, Oreos, chocolate chip cookies...it's a pantry, not a bedside table!
Truth is Michele hates ironing, and I won’t turn to ironing any sooner than watching Australian Football, but hey if your pregnant wife wants something, she had better get it or she’ll crack it. As many married men would say, a happy wife is a happy life!
Since the joyful discovery of our impending parenthood, Michele and I have learnt to cope with physical and emotional changes that seem to plague all new parents. So many new feelings, hopes, fears and questions.
Is that going to be safe to eat? Would she be getting enough nutrients? How are we going to cope with our finances next year? You look ill, are you ill? Do you want to rest? Have you taken your folic acid? You just threw up again, have you taken more fluids?
Then there’s the changes in our lifestyle.
Apart from a belly that’s already beginning to show, Michele doesn’t look any bigger at all. Still my same, sexy babe :O However I find myself having to slow my walking pace to a crawl to accommodate her. With an additional six kilogrammes of weight and a little bubba sucking her life force out of her, Michele’s often out of breath and gets tired easily. And until we get ourselves a car (we’re probably the only Aussie family without a car, ever.), we’re resigned to travelling by foot or public transport. And that means more walking.
