Movember November 1, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: 'mo, body hair, facial hair, moustache, movember, sandpit, tache
add a comment
Against Michele’s wishes I have decided to grow a ‘mo to celebrate the wonderful cause that is Movember.
I reckon I would really have to had grown my ‘mo from last November to participate; such is the sad state of my un-hairyness. Bar a few exceptions, Asians really have the short end of the hairy stick. We simply do not have facial hair.
The last time I attempted to grow a ‘mo, I went three weeks without a shave and I looked a little like an abandoned kids’ sandpit that has the odd blade of green growing.
Oh yes, you had better believe it. With such embarrassing riches, I might need a stiff drink to muster enough courage to walk out into the world. Who knows what people might think if they have to come up real close to spot facial hair, when it’s meant to be seen from a mile away!
I’ll keep a regular update on my sandpit. Perhaps I might just build a little sandcastle, hide a bone in it and gasp in fake astonishment when Toby finds it.
Toilet mannerisms October 29, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, Michele, To Start Off With.Tags: apricots, buttock, colombo, dunny, ethnicity, excrement, fart, fruit, laxative, marriage, pong, shit, spring, the holy grail, vegetable, Wedding, wedding vows
add a comment
Hello all, I hope you have been well.
I had the worst case of the runs two nights ago after consuming too many dried apricots (They’re so sweet and juicy!) during lunch. Somebody must have forgotten to tell me apricots have a laxative effect because I went through them like apricots were The Holy Grail of fruits.
Of course, not being much of a fruit person – I prefer vegetables – didn’t help as apples meant as much as an orange to me. They’re round and colourful. Ooh, can I throw it at someone?
So here I was, getting acquainted with the dunny. It was a warm Spring day so my bare buttock didn’t experience a cold jolt upon sitting on the seat.
With half a packet left; the fruit that started it all.
Armed with a laptop on my thighs and a fresh roll of toilet paper, it was all systems go.
The best invention in the world! October 27, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Baby, Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: air con, airconditioning, Baby, best invention in the world, bun in the oven, summer
add a comment
Hello, I hope you have all been well.
My airconditioning units – busy collecting road tolls from the number of times I’ve walked past them sitting pretty in their boxes – have been put out of their idle misery as they are currently being installed.
About damn time too, I might add, with the oppressive heat of summer around the corner. I don’t think Michele would like carrying around an extra 15kg around her waist in a 50 degree house.
I doubt Baby would fancy leaving the watery cave that is the womb too. Although, it does put a new spin on the term ‘bun in the oven’!
Hole in the wall - who needs a window?!!
And if you, like me, love the cool of the faux air caressing your sun-kissed skin in summer, say it along with me:
“The air con is the best invention in the world!”
A whole new world October 12, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Baby, Observations, Pregnancy, To Start Off With.Tags: babies, Baby, baby and kids market, coburg, croydon, Daddy, kokoda trail, mommy, new worlds, parenthood, parents
add a comment
Hello, I hope you are all well.
Michele and I spent the entire weekend being thoroughly brain-washed by baby products at the Baby & Kids Market. It’s a market that doesn’t have a permanent base; instead it goes to your local suburb on a particular weekend day and you are most likely to find it in your town hall or community centre.
So enthusiastic we were, we went to the Saturday (10th) market in Coburg and somehow made our way to Croydon (!) on Sunday (11th). Along the way, we spent a couple of hundred dollars and had a little chuckle to ourselves as we wondered how much we would have spent had we purchased the products first hand.
It’s an awesome concept that, unless you are about to become a parent yourself, will fly under your radar as it’s not something that one looks out for in the papers. I was surprised how massively popular this alternate universe is, as there were hundreds of parents besieging the fifty odd stalls on each day.
‘House chores’ – cleaning and removing October 9, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: arborist, backyard, cleaning brigade, council, graffiti, house chores, illusion, space, tree, vandalism
add a comment
Hello all.
This week I’ve seen a new reason to look at house chores in a different light. After all, I didn’t move a muscle and had everything done for me. Oh how I wished that’s the case week in, week out.
Regular readers will remember how my property was vandalized and when my house was almost crushed by a giant tree. All that within the space of a week. And they say married life isn’t interesting!
Bye bye tree...
If only the world works with such well-drilled precision and timing. A day after I lodged the graffiti report, the local council responded immediately to my pleas for help, sending the Cleaning Brigade to wash the graffiti off my fencing.
I’ve always wondered why annual council fees are so steep. After all, all they did was clear my rubbish weekly and my recycled every other. I simply could not justify paying them. However, after making short work of the graffiti in err, short time, I will never complain paying those fees again. Good work, council!
Timberrrrrrrr! September 30, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With, Toby.Tags: arborist, backyard, collapsed, deck of cards, felling, poodle, shih tzu, Toby, tree, weather
1 comment so far
Even Toby didn't know what to make of it.
Our house is falling apart, literally.
Over the weekend the big old tree in my backyard decided to do a split after watching one too many gymnasts on the telly. I was in my room when I heard a rip-roaring sound that went like “rrrrrrrkkkkkk-kkkkkcccccchhhhhh-rkkkkhhhhh” which was accompanied by the shaking of the ground. For a moment I thought the house was falling like a deck of cards.
I have attributed this unwanted disaster to the wild weather. High winds and wild rain – you could interchange both adjectives and the meaning would still be the same – must have become too much for the tree.
I’ve always wanted to remove the tree as it posed as a safety hazard but put it off due to the tightening of the purses. I guess there’s no way to put it off now!
Toby couldn’t be more pleased when I have the tree (and spare parts) removed. He hasn’t been able to do his usual laps around the yard and has too much energy at the end of the day. Which means more throwing of toys or balls for him to fetch. And Michele and I hate that.
Wonder how much arborists charge to remove a tree. We could do without more expenses.
Oh well, life goes on.
Working from home September 26, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With.Tags: $64000 question, blog, I.T, kiddo, obstetrician, parenting, pregnant, search engine optimization, seo, the asian parent, the marching jester, theAsianParent, trimester, ultrasound, website, working from home
1 comment so far
Hello all. I hope you have been well.
Has Life has been kind to you? It certainly has for me, at least in the last week or so.
Last week I was approached by the Editor of South East Asia’s largest parenting website, TheAsianParent to contribute story ideas and more importantly, articles. I was previously on the editorial team for the Singapore edition of TheAsianParent in 2008, but the recession took its toll on our team and I was kindly asked to stop writing temporarily until things picked up.
Of course, here’s the $64,000 question. What on earth do I know about being a parent in 2008?! As it is now, Michele’s only 14 weeks pregnant!
I had asked the Editor the same question as well, and I was quickly shepherded into a corner and told to write about amusing observations on parenting instead. I remember thinking:
“How queer. Parenting, non-parenting style.”
I got my Ps! September 7, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Car, To Start Off With.Tags: asian gangster, driving instructor, driving license, mugshot, Ps, victorian driving license
1 comment so far
Ugly mugshot of Asian gangster.
This is a special moment to savour. After being teased at and constantly being chauffeured around by mates and families for decades, I finally got my Ps.
At the grand old age of 30, I’m possibly the oldest new driver in circle of friends. Actually, let’s make that the oldest.
The tester was a good guy, definitely younger than me (who isn’t?!) and didn’t make me do cartwheels, perform a bunny hop or fire my rocket missile. As much as I really wanted to press the LAUNCH button, I kept my nerves and passed with no worries.
My instructor, who has been very patient with me all these months and taught me only good things, gave me a firm congratulatory handshake and said I can finally start looking for a car. Which is what I’m definitely looking at into this week. Of course, no prizes for guessing who I’m not buying from.
It’s all a little surreal at the moment. My peers have all been driving for many years, some even for over a decade. I know I still have a lot to learn, as driving is all about experience. That counts.
I’m just going to take it all in, change out of my jeans, pop myself in front of the telly and get on my PS3.
All Hail The Snow Virgin August 28, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Family Trip, Michele, To Start Off With.Tags: alpine, cost, drool, food, football, hiking, kids, lake mountain, melbourne, Mount Buller, mountain, newbies, sandpit, ski, snow, snow angel, snow god, snowboard, snowman, sports, spring, summer, tarago, toboggan, tots, victoria, virgin
add a comment
A special moment in my life...and I'm glad Michele was there with me.
Hello. I hope you have all been well.
Last weekend Michele and I, along with close friends and our new roomie embarked on an early morning road trip. The plan was to spend a day out in the snow, but really it was all about my desire to see snow. You see, until a week ago, I’ve never seen real snow in my life.
Three-and-a-half hours east of Melbourne sits Mount Buller, one of Australia’s premier ski destinations. None of us in the rented Tarago had any impressions of heading to Buller to ski, as between the seven of us we’d probably do good keeping our bottoms dry from the snow! I might be only one who hasn’t earned his Snow Stripes, but I’m in good company as the other six probably dusted off their stripes with much difficulty. Just as well!
Put it bluntly, Buller wasn’t our initial destination. As snow newbies, we were more than happy to play in the snow like little kids coked up on lollies and laughing without inhibitions or judgements. Had the Snow God smiled down on us, we’d have saved two hours of driving and headed to Lake Mountain instead. However, a peek at the Lake Mountain webcam indicated lush green fields (well, almost) and blooming fauna. Ideal for your spring/summer hiking trip, but not favourable if you want to see snow.
New addition to the family! August 17, 2009
Posted by themarchingjester in Life At Home, To Start Off With, Wedding.Tags: australian, best man, bodyguard, brisbane, cereals, chick magnet, life, melbourne, mexico, nomad, refund, suburb, teaching english
3 comments
Hello all, I hope you have all been well.
Michele and I are proud to announce a new addition into our family. An able participant, that is. No, it’s not what you excited readers are thinking. It’s a full grown man. :O
