Bogan Greed

Posted on December 8, 2008


The mother of all roads. This one's in Adelaide.

The mother of all roads. This one's in Adelaide.

Manning the national pet hotline can be a real toot at times. Most phone calls are very generic and relates mostly to the recovery of a found animal or tracing an animal’s tag or microchip number. The callers often sound as educated as they are made out to be; after all one assumes an owner is intelligent enough to take care of him or herself if the they are charged themselves with the responsibility of raising pets. It is just like custody of one’s child – if you are deemed unfit to take care of your children, then the natural animal instinct of protecting and raising your tiny loved one is removed from you.

Then you have the calls from society’s more interesting research groups.

Once my ears were greeted with a gruff-sounding lady who needed just another VB (left hand) and a cigarette (right hand) to show how her Baby Bonus was well spent.

“Hiya mate I just picked up a dog who wandered into my yard. Is there a reward for returning the dog?” she quipped.

The only reward she is getting is the gratitude of a (probably) anxious owner, and a dollar to get her out of the yard. A quick check on her details revealed a residential area halfway between woop woop and the Uluru. Sorry, but we have no interest in funding your excessive lifestyle.

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Posted in: Observations