The Lemon Detox – 3.5kg loss!

Posted on December 21, 2008


So, it has come to this.

At the end of a gruelling seven day solid food abstinence, Michele has finally achieved what she wanted.

I remember it all really clearly. It was sometime last week when Michele waltzed into my room just when I was about to call in my King Tiger tank in a last ditch attempt to salvage a brutal beachhead assault from British and American forces on Pointe du Hoc. With my ally (he’s in Holland) desperately calling me out to assist him, I managed to throw Michele a really annoyed look.

“Just what on Earth is it?” I thought to myself.

She always knows when to distract me. Classic, Michele. But this time, I was genuinely distracted.

My lovely fiancee had slipped into a regular pair of jeans which usually filled itself out. This time however, Michele had about an inch around the waist to slide around in.

“3.5kg I’ve lost!” she squealed. I made out those words over the din of my Dutch ally yelling out to me over my headphones.

Frankly, I was rapt. If it weren’t for the King Tiger, I would have abandoned the game (and formulating some sort of sorry ass apology to my ally later), reached out to Michele and given her a big xoxo.

I told Michele I won’t be ten minutes, and concluded the game as promised.

Michele was doing her hair and was now in a very sexy dress. Going out she is. I’ve not seen her in it for a good part of a year. Admittedly, we’ve both put on weight and I’m not able to frame some very nice tee shirts I’ve got stashed in my wardrobe.

Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she stood on the weighing scales and it read something straight out of a December low tide record. (Sorry readers, but Michele would absolutely gut me if I revealed her weight.)

As much as I’d hate to admit, the Lemon Detox has worked. Like a charm too. Apart from a very traumatic first 24 hours, Michele experienced no side effects, felt fuller more easily and had the energy of a spazzed-out Toby.

Still, I stand by my decision to chide her for adopting the next weight loss programme that comes along. She needs to stick to one. After the appalling debacle that is Herbalife ($200 and no results), my faith in these ‘fads’ have been restored.

Now the challenge for Michele is to stay at that weight. *chuckles*

By the way, I lost that game. The King Tiger failed to save our game. Oh well, live to fight another day.