Post-Wedding Trauma?

Posted on April 24, 2009


Hello, hope you are all well.

Many friends and relos have asked me, with all good intentions,  if married life has changed me or if I felt the difference in day-to-day life. I think I might have surprised them a little when I suggested I was glad to have just gotten married, as I’m never doing it again!

I followed that with a joke that was made out of my personal experience and my journey with Michele. Every white hair, stress and cent we put into our happy day wasn’t only worth the hassle, but also a testament to the power of love.

However, should our marriage break down over the years (let’s rubbish those naysayers!), there’s no chance in hell I’d file for a divorce as the thought of remarrying and the excess baggage that is stress and unnecessary money spent simply isn’t worth half a day of happiness!

Jokes aside, marriage really hasn’t changed the way Michele and me live. We’re very simple people, with relatively simple needs (though Michele might have something to say about that!) and we proved last year that we could get by with absolutely zero shopping, no outdoor dinings or instant gratifications in the form of movies, DVDs and expensive non-essentials. We’ve proved that we could live rather frugally and be contented with what we have.

That said, we only lived this way as every cent that didn’t go towards our mortgage, bills or groceries went towards our wedding fund. With the wedding out of the way, we could afford to relax our purse strings. Just a little bit though.

In the three weeks since we’ve returned, we’ve dined out twice, bought ourselves a couple of DVDs, bought a relatively expensive set of bed sheets and look very much like a regular couple.

Trouble is, people expect things to change just because you’re married. Why would it?

Michele and me have been living together for four years prior to our marriage, and if there were any creases to be ironed out in the relationship, the ‘living together’ bit was sorted out a long time ago.

We still cook whenever we can, hang out with friends, play with Toby, sleep and eat together. In fact, if you ask me, the only thing that has genuinely changed is how our laundry is now done! We do them together instead of putting them in separate baskets.  Somehow, the idea of sharing our cooties with each another no longer irks us. If anything, we save more water doing less loads of washing.

Apart from the ring on my finger and a piece of paper that’s sitting flat in my drawer, there’s absolutely no indication that my life has changed. I’m still getting used to the ring, and have a nasty (or so says Michele) habit of removing it when I get home. I feels like jewellery to me, and jewellery should be removed when one gets home. Perhaps over time, I will get used to wearing the ring regardless of what I do at home. Shower, dishes, whatever.

With time, I’ll have to admit marriage life does feel different in her special way. But that probably involves a little baby that’s due, a bulging wife with strange food cravings at odd hours and converting our guest room into a baby’s room.

But that’s many more months away.

Or is it? :O