Worst. Day. Ever.

Posted on July 6, 2009


Hello. I hope everyone has been good.

Have you ever had a day where everything and I mean everything just turn on you and nothing seems to be going your way? You know, the kind of classic script that you would have thought sprung out of a ‘It Could Happen To You‘ moment. Just without the beautiful blonde, money and feel good factor.

Pretty shoddy don’t you say? Well I had one of those episodic moments just last week.

Midweek, and Michele had been gone in Cairns for almost a week. As a freshly-scrubbed couple with the nuptial bells still ringing in our heads, I must have let my loneliness get to my head and cloud my judgment.

I didn’t want to leave Toby alone at night while I was gone at work, so I brought him along. Work is pet-friendly, and staff are even encouraged to bring their pets along.

The night went on without much fanfare. Just as I was about to clock off for the day, I did my usual checking of essentials before I left. Toby – Check. Lunchbox – Check. Wallet – Check. Logged off computer – Check. Work keys – Check. House keys…house keys?

And then it hit me. Where are my house keys?

I emptied my bag and went through it thoroughly before proceeding to pat myself down very generously, feeling for the keys.

I repacked my bags, and emptied it again. All this while, I kept playing the same motions in my head and started to recollect my steps the night before. I don’t go anywhere at night, sticking only to the office, pantry and letting Toby out once every four hours.

By this time the morning staff had arrived and offered to help me find the keys. To no avail.

I realised I was stuck with the possibility of calling a locksmith over to my house. And call a locksmith I did. I was rostered on that night as well and after doing the night shift I was knackered. Sleep-deprived and perhaps thinking irrationally because this poor sod hasn’t seen his wife for many days.

Of course, had Michele been in Melbourne I would have just gone over to her work and picked up her keys. And got another set of keys cut.

Struggling with the thought of not being in my bed, wrestling a fatigued Toby and waiting for the locksmith to pick my lock, I must have died on the inside.

The only available locksmith told me he could be at my place in 45 minutes, but he didn’t take EFTPOS. I told him to come over, as I’d be ready to greet him at the door. Truth is there were no ATMs around my area, and I had to take the train up to the next station, take cash out and train it back to my home.

The locksmith charged me $100 for an hour’s worth of work. $90 for labour per hour, and $10 to cut two keys. In reality the cost of losing my keys was almost $200 as I had to replace a set of wireless electronic alarm that came with my monitoring alarm system. And the cost of making several new shopping tags with barcodes that came with my keys because I had personal details engraved on it. A smart bloke who picked up my keys could scan the barcodes and easily find out where I live. And with those keys….

I don’t normally make silly mistakes like these, and I pride myself on taking good care of the family. This included watching out for the home and everything that comes with it. I never lose my keys.

A good three hours later, I finally stepped into my house. A relieved man, I thanked the locksmith profusely, took the lead off Toby and proceeded to clean him. I went into the kitchen to make myself a coffee, and while waiting for the water to boil, I emptied my bag again. This time, I turned it upside down, partly in frustration but mostly out of anger.

You can probably guess what’s going to happen next.

The offending set of keys. Argh!

The offending set of keys. Argh!

A little jingle, and a set of keys tumbled out of my bag.

For a lack of a better word – blood curdling scream might be the operative word here – I went completely apeshit and ran around the house screaming. Someone should have recorded me. I was running around half naked with Toby barking and chasing me, doing laps around the house.

Stupid keys had somehow found itself in a little tiny slot, slid itself into it and made itself comfortable. As I never use that pocket, it didn’t occur to me to check it.

It’s probably the most expensive keycut in history. $100 to get two keys cut. Unbelievable. But my day just got worse.

I woke up close to 7pm, an hour later than usual. Scurrying around the kitchen, I was busy making dinner for myself and while waiting for the water to boil (sensing a theme here?!?), I picked up the mobile to call Michele. A recorded message tells me there is no service available.

I pinched myself. That morning I had set myself several tasks to do when I got home, one of them being paying the several-weeks-late-mobile bill. In the brouhaha that ensued with the missing keys, I had completely forgotten to pay it off.

The landline – which solely exists for ADSL and monitoring alarm purposes – finally has some use when I picked up the phone and made a 20 minute call out to India. Yay for outsourcing.

No amount of apologising and reference to my good credit history could save me from a $35 reconnection fee. Unflapping believable.

And to top it all off, at the end of the week I logged onto my online savings account only to find I was in -$4.56. My banks charges me $30 administration fee everytime I go under $0, so my account officially stood at -$34.56.

Had I not spent the extra $200 on the flapping keycut, Who would have thought a pair of missing keys would cost me over $250 out of pocket? It was just a chain of embarrassing and unfortunate events. Never has this happened to me.

It only happened last week, but with Michele returning into my loving arms and a big lesson learnt, I now make sure I have the keys properly secure before I leave for home or work. It’s one bloody expensive lesson.

/end rant.