Attack of the killer grass!

Posted on December 21, 2009


Hello, I hope you are all well.

The grass in our backyard has grown to a remarkable height of one foot over the last two weeks. It’s quite incredible, watching Toby running into the backyard to relieve himself, only to be dwarfed by grass overlooking him while he tries to find a flat surface to do his business. If I wasn’t paying attention, I wouldn’t be able to pick Toby out from the grass. He simply disappears. And he’s not even green.

Back from where I come from, if grass this long existed, it’s either in some disused plot of land where tall long grass called lalang exists in abundance, or some local councils have been lazy and need a good kick up their backside.

But no, this shocking ‘weed’ infestation sits in my backyard.

I have no doubt Melbourne’s crazy weather has a hand in this incredible growth spurt. Michele and I were swapping out our woolies for summer wear and sun screen, only to hide in recluse from a chilly cold front the next. Add a dash of rain with two parts fine weather, and it’s the perfect recipe for snakes and God knows what hidden among the tall grass.

Enter my very first lawn mower. Having lived in apartments my whole life before owning my own house, I know next to nothing about motorized lawn mowers, let alone what a two or four-stroke is, or what needs to be oiled, or how Honda lawn mowers are the best but cost $900 a pop…hey what do you know I do know a fair bit about lawn mowers!

I don’t see a reason to shell out $300 for your average four-stroke Bunnings lawnmower when a $50 Ozito does the same job. Not only do I get to break out in a sweat, I won’t have highly-flammables in my garage over the summers.

On top of that, it’s low maintenance, works a treat and it looks so much prettier than those noisy behemoths whose roar could be heard one street away. Bleh.

The last time I tried mowing a lawn and tackling overgrown backyard grass, I had the worst grief from the landlord. I ended up using a pair of shears, bent over and cutting the grass off. How attractive. Hello, I’ve never used a lawnmower before.

So there you have it. My little project this week – putting the treacherous lalang back in its place, making it easier for poor Toby to negotiate our backyard.