I’m The Cleanest 30-Something Man In The World!

Posted on December 30, 2009


Oh yes, I really am.

I had just collected Thumper from his first servicing down at the dealership. The speedometer reading registered 20,300KM just before I turned the car off, which meant to say since I started driving Thumper on September 23, I have done 6,791KM in just a little over three months.

And based on Honda Jazz’s official website, Thumper is producing 159g/KM of nasty carbon dioxide, giving Thumper and I a teeny weensy 1,079,769g of emissions.

I like even, round numbers...

1,079,769g!! Ask any 30-something bloke and they’d tell you they’ve been driving for more than ten years!! That’s easily 40 times more than 1,079,769g!


That’s over a tonne of crap dumped into the environment! And I’m only a humble man who only picked up driving because his wife is up the duff!!

We are all guilty of slowly killing the planet, and until September 23, I had absolutely no carbon footprint (from a car’s point) to speak of. It really puts things in perspective.

But for the time being, let me revel in my joy at being the cleanest 30-something man in the world.

I really am!