“Daddy Look, Sausage!”

Posted on June 12, 2012


When it comes to the birds and the bees I reckon Michele and I have got it down to pat. Levi would have been around ten months old and was beginning to stand and take tiny assisted steps.

It was also around this time we introduced him to his best friend, Dudu.

More commonly known to humans as a penis, Dudu is like all things baby talk-related, a big part of childhood and has grown up with Levi.

In just a short span of 27 months, Dudu has seen the best of Levi and definitely the worst too.

In fact I reckon Dudu might have seen too much in just a short span of time. It’s enough to render an adult sick to the stomach but Dudu could be made of sterner stuff.

I don’t think Levi caught on to what Dudu is until he was roughly 15 months old. For several months nary a night gone by without Levi focusing on Dudu while submerged in three inch deep soapy bath water.

In spite of the distractions around him – rubber duckies, Thomas the Tank Engine, squirty guns, yellow star and even big building blocks – Levi would always find time to get acquainted with Dudu.

Initial interactions would always result in hilarious conversations.

“Wazzat?” He’d ask while pointing directly at it.

“That’s your Dudu, Levi.” Michele and I would point out.

“Wazzat?” He’d ask again, this time pulling at it.

“That’s your Dudu, Levi. And don’t pull at it. Doesn’t it hurt?!” We exclaimed with some degree of alarm.

The moment of infamy where boy meets dog and boy eh, discovers dog has a ‘dudu’ too.

Oddly enough, Dudu seems to enjoy getting stretched. Thankfully upon closer observation it’s just his foreskin that’s getting the daily exercise. I never fail to wince whenever he does that.

In the last six months Levi’s fascination with Dudu has gone to a new level. He’s become extremely protective of it.

Getting stripped for his daily bath, his short commute to the bathroom would always result in hilarious Levi-Toby banter. (Yes that’s right, remember Toby our dog?)

“Toby bite Dudu!” Levi quips as he covers Dudu with his bare hands.

“Nobody’s biting your Dudu!” as Michele and I burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter.

“Toby bite Dudu!”

“There you are! You’re in the bathtub! Nobody’s got Dudu!”

Dudu has had a strange relationship with Levi, but none more so than a strange conversation Michele, my mother-in-law (who’s visiting) and I witnessed last weekend.

Toby, who has a habit of getting a massive erection while licking himself clean after dinner, caught the attention of Levi.

Levi sat next to Toby and bent over and noticed a huge, throbbing purple ‘dudu’.

“Oh! Toby Dudu!” he pointed excitedly.

“Yes boy, Toby has a Dudu too.” Michele said.

“Sausage!” Levi exclaimed.

*cue moments of laughter*

I don’t think I could eat another sausage this month without Levi’s innocent moment of self-discovery going through my mind.

Just punching these words on my keyboard now has brought a smile to my face.

Oh Levi, you are indeed my silly and beautiful boy.

Note: This article was meant for Week 5 of Aquila Style but due to the ‘naughty’ nature of the content it didn’t receive the green light from the editorial team. Keep a look out for my new column in Aquila Style this week!